It's for her

Why are we considering a natural childbirth? It is a question we've been asked, with incredulous eyes looking on, for the past couple of months. And now, as we near her birth, it is a question I am asking myself. Is it to prove something to myself? Maybe that's part of it. Is it to prove my love to her? If I'm honest, I guess I'd have to say that this is a bit of a show of my love for her, but it is not my main motive, and it is certainly not Ryan's motive. 99% of it is because we believe this is the birth that is best for her. We want her to come into this world as peacefully as possible and we believe the best way to do this is by allowing my body to do what women's bodies have done for millions of years.

I also want to experience birth. I have not merely been a vessel in which she's been carried for 9 months - I have been her mother, her caretaker - the one who loves her, who feeds her, who protects her, who worries for her. It hasn't been fun and blissful the entire time. It's been frustrating, it's been uncomfortable and it's been painful at times - but I would do it again tomorrow. When she makes her very first entrance into this world and breathes her first breath, I don't want to blend in with the IV and the monitors or be just another person in that room. I want to be there 100%, mind and body.

I also want to be there with Ryan and experience this with him. It is not lost on me that this will be very difficult for him - to watch me in immense pain; to subject himself to possible abuse from a desperate wife; to give up conventional wisdom when it comes to birth and go the road less traveled. I would not be even considering this without his support and love and encouragement.

I know this is not important for some women, and that is fine - some of the healthiest babies on the planet are born to women who opted for a pain-free route. Most of the women I love with all of my heart opted for a medicated birth - and they are brilliant and wonderful mothers. This is our choice and ours alone. And who knows where this road will take us - if we have to be induced or if other unforeseen events occur, I might be in their club. Our ultimate goal is to have her here with us - to hold and love and hug and kiss - and we'll make decisions that we hope are best for her every step of the way.