We were meant to be married 4/25/2009. I started this blog in February of this year intending to write all about the adventures and misadventures of planning a wedding ... all the ups and downs - mostly ups, I hoped. You notice this is the first entry? I'd watched dozens of friends plan amazing weddings and have fun doing it! I, unfortunately, was not one of those girls. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get into it. Believe me, I was excited to get married. And I was excited to have the reception for all of our loved ones. I was also excited about the parties leading up to the event and the pampering and planning the honeymoon ... but the money and the time and the decisions, I just could not get past it. Luckily, I didn't have to. Welcome to our wedding story.
It still feels like a dream … and it was. I just cannot believe it. One week ago, Ryan and I were a happily engaged couple. We sat at a bar in New Orleans, watching the Vols FINALLY win a game, and just chatting. I think we talked about our wedding – when to order invites, how to pay for said invites, how to pay for this shindig period! Caroline, my boss and dear friend, and her husband came to meet us. We had a great afternoon. More chatting. And then, a casual comment changed our lives … a little dramatic … it definitely changed our night! Caroline mentioned that if she had it to do over again, she would elope. Ross, her husband, agreed. The sequence and details of the next little bit is a bit of a blur. I do know that Caroline, the Ritz concierge and our Firm's NOLA office administrator, Anne, are the best wedding planners on the planet. In less than one hour, we had a reverend, violinist, photographer, and the courtyard at the Ritz-Carlton NOLA was reserved for 8:00 p.m. It was 5:00 p.m. I had three hours to get ready for my wedding. We did call our families first. Well, I called our families. Ryan said we could do it, but shouldn't tell anyone and still have a ceremony in April. "There is no 'freaking' way," I said. Well then, it was my job to call his Mom. He was sure she would not like this plan. Looking back, it is kind of odd how calm I was. For some reason, I was sure she would be okay with this. And she was. Tickled, I think is the right word. My Aunt was also surprised and excited. I called my Papa to tell him. That is the first time it hit me. He was so sweet and supportive. He asked me if I was sure. I told him I'd never been more sure, Ryan was it, and that my only regret was that he was not there to walk me down the aisle. Cue the tears. As if I had to console HIM, I assured him we would still have a big party in April to celebrate with everyone.
The families had been called, the "church" had been booked … now, what to wear, what to wear? I had failed to pack my wedding dress … seeing as how I did not realize I was getting married and all. But not to fear … Caroline and Harold Clarke would save the wedding day. Harold is a Jamaican born, New Orleans based dress designer. His dresses are on display in the front window of the Ritz. Since I started staying there for work in May, I have lovingly adored his designs – knowing there was no way I would ever be able to afford one. I had especially admired an emerald green strapless dress. It reminded me of Kiera Knightley in Atonement. And the fairytale unfolds ... at 5:15 sharp, I was standing in the Ritz lobby with the man himself, Harold Clarke. Caroline had already told him exactly which dress she had in mind. It was the one I had in mind, too. I pointed at the green dress. He smiled a big smile and unlocked the display case.
Harold and I walked … well, I sort of floated … through the Ritz Carlton to his shop which is right behind the hotel. I did not know what to say to Harold. What do you say to a stranger who has just helped your wildest dream come true … just because? He had nothing to gain. I know the paltry price I paid to rent his gown barely purchased a spool of his fancy thread. We talked about his life in Jamaica and the people he designed for and his wife, Iona. When we got to the shop, I met her. A ray of sunshine she was! She helped me put the dress on … I walked out into the shop I'd walked past a dozen times, admiring, dreaming … and stepped up to the mirror. Caroline was there, too. She had the look on her face that my aunt and Ryan's mom and Sarah had when I walked out in the "one" that day at Low's Bridal. It was the look that reaffirmed what I was thinking … this is perfect! It is emerald green … an emerald green wedding dress!!!! I knew the gods of the Southern Belles were surely frowning, but I didn't care.
When I finally snapped out of my green hazy daze, I realized my hair was a hot mess. I asked Caroline if she would please run across to my room and plug in my hot rollers. Surely those days of doing my hair for voice shows and pageants had groomed me well enough to whip something up for my wedding day. Harold overheard my request and … once again … shined his halo a bit and ran next door to ask the salon to stay open a little late. They obliged. He and Iona also plopped a perfect veil on my head they wanted me to borrow as well as a beautiful emerald and rhinestone necklace. I felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman on her way to the opera ... except I am not a prostitute and Ryan is not a gagillionaire and I was going to my wedding, not the opera. But I felt like a star!
Iona finished pinning me up in that emerald green dress … I slipped out of it so they could do the alterations, then ran next door and sat in the chair. A nice man was waiting with his hairspray and bobby pins. We'll call him Sean – because in all this chaos – I have forgotten his name! Diva was the owner of the salon. They, along with Antwon, became a big part of this story, too. While sitting in the chair, my phone was going crazy. Word within the family was starting to spread. And I was starting to freak the f$%^ out. Caroline ran next door and got me an emergency glass of champagne. Diva showed me her nerve-busting trick – the same one she used on her own wedding day (which was held in her living room, by the way, and then they had a Roaring 20s party to celebrate later). We ran in place for several minutes. It worked … that and the champagne. Caroline had also grabbed my makeup from my room (I have already told her that my first born will be immediately turned over to her – I owe her a lot!). I put my makeup on, pretty much like I do everyday. Ryan had always requested that I wear it just like I normally do. He was afraid of me not looking like me. And truthfully, if I had had the time and the peeps, fake eyelashes and red lipstick would have likely have been in the mix. I am telling you –this was all fate. Back to the beauty shop - Diva helped me with the blush. She noticed that I was a "pasty white girl" and spread that pink stuff on thick! They all helped me pick a lipstick. After one last look and spritz of hairspray , we went back to our Fairy Godmother and Father's place next door. The green dress was ready. Iona helped me slip it on. It fit like a very tight glove ... a very, very tight glove. She was sure to add a little extra "umph" in the bustier area. I once again walked into the showroom. I was wearing the second love of my life. Harold snapped some photos. Iona put the necklace around my neck. Some well-wishers poked their head in the shop to congratulate us. The magic was about to happen!
I have to tell this sidebar because it is one of my favorites of the day: during this whirlwind, Diva came in with the shoes she and Caroline and Antwon had bought at a stripper store near Bourbon Street. It was the only place open and the black heels Caroline was lending me were "not going to do" – according to Diva. Caroline walked in soon with a sparkly bangle bracelet, my garter, and some … stripper attire, let's say, for later on. I was ready to go!!!!!!!! I hope Caroline will add her details to this part. Hearing her tell the story is hilarious!
I hope I thanked Harold and Iona one hundred and fifty times, then I did walk out into a beautiful November night in New Orleans. Caroline was beside me. Antwon was carrying my train. We went up the elevator and into the lobby bar. I WAS ABOUT TO GET MARRIED!!!!!
I could see the courtyard from where I was standing. The Ritz manager approached me and Caroline. He'd made our bouquets! And they were gorgeous. Caroline walked out to take her place. The manager walked away, and there I was, all alone. And here is that word again, overwhelmed. I could not believe these people had done all of this for two strangers. And I could not believe that after three years and a ten month engagement, I was about to marry the one who has loved me best. I was finally going to be his wife. Tears rolled down my cheek. The manager came back to whisk me away to the service entrance to the courtyard. More tears came. But then it was time to dry it up. The Reverend's wife came back to gift me with a kerchief for my bouquet. She asked me about requests for the violinist. It would be Canon in D down the aisle, and the traditional "duhn, duhn duhn duhn duhn duhn duhn" at the end. Moments later, the door opened …
... but before I get to that part, I need to clue you in on what the groom was doing all this time! First of all, it is important to note that the groom (that would be Ryan) was a proponent of elopement from the beginning. He saw how much the whole wedding thing was stressing me out - and frankly it was therefore making his life a living hell - and just did not think it was worth it.
I am, of course, speaking for him ... so my dear husband, please feel free to add to this. I just did not see how we could PLAN an elopement and not hurt feelings. Would it JUST be us, would we include some family? How many people? Some friends? I cannot pick just a couple of friends! However, when the subject came up last Saturday in New Orleans, it made perfect sense.
As soon as we decided we were making it official, Ross and Ryan went off for an impromptu bachelor party while we went to find the dress. The boys went to a classy establishment on Bourbon where they met lots of new friends! They headed back to the Ritz around 7:00 to get dressed and ready. Just like my attire was such a big part of this story, so was his. A little background: I have always had quite the obsession with seer sucker. Ryan shares that love ... and perhaps our love of this light-weight, preppy fabric is one of the many things that brought us together. We knew when we decided on an April wedding in Memphis, seer sucker was not an option. It just isn't hot enough yet! So, we were both to settle on khaki or navy suits. That is until 11/22/08 when we decided to get married at the Ritz-Carlton. You see, at the Ritz in NOLA, the employees wear fabulous seer sucker suits ALL YEAR ROUND!!! Now, while Caroline and I reminded them the day we checked in that it was past seer-sucker time according to the rules, I was more than tickled when it was decided Ryan would wear one of their suits! He called in his measurements, and Katie, another of our angels, brought the crisp get-up to his room. Ryan tells me he had a few moments while sitting in the room realizing: this was it! He was about to be married. I think now what a feeling that must be for a man ... when he "takes a wife", it seems that he is taking on more than just a partner. Suddenly, he is provider, mate, future father ... all those things rolled into one. It just seems to hold a lot more weight, somehow. I know this makes no sense. Suffice it to say I am just glad he chose me.
And as I walked onto the rose-sprinkled red carpet to Canon in D, he was honestly the only person I saw. I am not lying when I say I did not know there were guests at our wedding until it was over. I cannot really recall the next few minutes of the ceremony. The only things I do remember: crying as I walked out, then laughing hysterically as I stood in front of Ryan. I went from sentimental and sappy to blown away that this was really happening. Ryan shook me out of my giggles by murmuring "stop laughing" between his pressed lips. Doh! Called out by my soon-to-be husband ... who laughs at everything! When the "I dos" began, I did not have to be reminded of how serious this was. I often wondered if I'd be able to stare him straight in the eyes the entire time, or if I'd have to nervously look away. I don't think I looked away once. I wanted that moment to last forever and ever. The pictures help me remember the next few moments ... we kissed. I did not want it to be a sloppy tonguey kiss, so I think I stood two feet away from him and stooped over to smooch him. He then pulled me a little closer and gave me a real one. It is my favorite picture - me in his passionate embrace - Caroline, Ross and Reverend Tony stand in the back, laughing their asses off ... and we make out just like we did that first night we met when we sufficiently grossed out everyone around us with our serious rounds of tonsil hockey. I loved it!
We did get a taste of what I assume bride and groom's deal with after the ceremony. Even then I did not get a glimpse at our guests. The Reverend and his photographer-wife swooped us away and snapped away. We took photos sipping champagne, feeding each other cake ... even the prom pose! Then, Reverend Tony sat us down with a slice of cake for our post-wedding, "pre-marital" counseling - there was really no time beforehand. He said we should begin each day with a kiss. We are ahead of the game, I suppose. He also gave us his card told us to call him anytime, day or night, if we ever needed anything. He said he'd been woken up more than once by feuding brides or grooms. I don't know that Ryan or I will be racing to the phone to call Rev Tone, but I thought it was so nice and reverendly of him to offer.
Then, it was time to toast our guests, which included Diva, Antwon and "Sean" from the salon, a couple who was celebrating their 11th wedding anniversary (they cried at the wedding), the entire night staff of the Ritz and a couple of people who were staying at the hotel for the LSU/Ole Miss game. It was such a trip to get to chat with them and drink champagne with them ... again, our night of stranger bonds continues. Then I went up to change out of my gown ... Cinderella had to turn back into "Cinderelly" eventually. But the night was not over yet!!!! We all met back in the courtyard. It was completely cleared out ... no one would have known that our dream wedding had just happened moments ago! We chatted and had a cocktail with Ross and Caroline. The four of us didn't know each other all that well as couples before this weekend began ... now, we would forever be bonded by one crazy weekend in NOLA!
It was then time for the after party. We went to visit the establishment Ryan and Ross had went to earlier. Their friends they had met wanted to meet us. After a short stay there, we went to The Saloon ... the best karaoke bar on Bourbon, by the way. I serenaded my new husband with the song I first sang for him in a karaoke bar - "At Last". This one was the Celine Dion version, not the Etta James version, and therefore not quite as pretty ... oh, and my fly was unzipped the entire time. Other than that, it was perfect. Really. We sang a little more ... me and Caroline dueted "Living on a Prayer". Isn't that what all marriages are about after all? :-)
Alas, it had been a very long day. It was time to go home. We trudged back to the hotel. By this time, Ryan had a garter around his head. I am guessing it was mine. We said goodnight to our new best friends/matron of honor and best man and went to our room. And wow. Wow. I know, I know ... they do rose petal turn down for all newlyweds. It is not like we were special. But it sure felt that way. People who did not know us had gone out of their way, like MILES out of their way, to make this the most amazing night of our lives. They'd even given us a gift, a blue glass Fleur-de-Lis, and a hand-written note. I stared at the little mat beside our bed with rose petals strewn over it and a pair of white waffled slippers and just cried, and cried and cried. My sweet new husband hugged me. Without asking, he knew exactly why I was crying. He wiped the tears from my face and said the sweetest things to me I'd truly ever heard. Before, I'd always sort of cringed when people would say "I am the luckiest girl on Earth". Because really, you're not. That woman who won the lottery twice in a row likely has you beat, in the technical sense. But at that moment, I truly felt like her - the luckiest woman on Earth.
Since that night more than one week ago, I feel like I love him even more. Yes, the fairytale is over ... we've already had our first married fight. Okay, our second. And I know that there will be more. And that's okay. We're both tough. We love each other. We can do this. And if we ever start to forget how meant to be this union truly is, you can find us in New Orleans.
***Check out Harold's designs. A true artist!
***Tell the Ritz you love our story!
